Memory Number 001
by Shadray
Summary: Because all memories have to start somewhere.


Note- Please enjoy, and please review if you did.

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_Memory Number 001_

It began almost indistinguishably, mixed together with the delicate, uncertain sounds of coughs, snores, creaks, and other disturbances of the otherwise still night, barely audible through the wall dividing them. It began almost indistinguishably, blended together with the sounds of nature calling out to itself in the dark. It began almost indistinguishably, jumbled together with even the delicate beat of her own heart. It began almost indistinguishably -- but as the clock struck three, the night took a jolt forward, and suddenly the sounds in Alphonse's room no longer fit in with the natural chords and the instinctive melody of the night; suddenly the sounds in the room beside her dissonantly clashed with those of the outside world.

They were whimpers. Whimpers and restless hiccups. Realistically, they were only minuscule, hardly significant noises -- but for her, it was enough to awaken her weary mind and force her equally weary legs to swing over the edge of the bed and carry herself into the hallway. She knew better than to take her time walking; Alphonse would have heard her approaching and had supple time to prepare himself and pretend that nothing was wrong. But no, this was the fourth time this week that she had caught him doing this, and it needed to be the last.

It did not require more than a second to swing the door open and spot him, who sat not on or even remotely near the bed that she had provided, but instead in the far corner of the room, cuddling together with his shadow, his eyes fixed on the floor beneath him. He did not bother to look up when she approached him, nor did he give any indication that he was even aware of her having entered the room.

"Al…" It was only a whisper, but in the stillness of the atmosphere she was more than audible. The young man before her, who had only just recently acquired his human body from the Gate, only continued gazing at the floor in an almost unconscious, unseeing state.

Even in the darkness she could see the dried streams of tears extended down his face.

"Alphonse," she repeated, this time even more softly. "You…"

"Tell me." His voice was hard, stiff, as though he had wanted to ask it for weeks. "Please, _tell me._" Alphonse lifted his head, revealing wet, baggy eyes. "Why is it, Winry," he asked, "why is it… that I have no memories?"

The question seemed so random, so out of the blue, that she could only stare at him for a while.

"Was that the 'equivalent exchange' that was made? For me to regain this body…I had to lose all memories, all family, all friendships? My mind doesn't let up, Winry -- all it does is flood itself with neverending questions about my past -- about my purpose. A million times now you've told me the story of what it was like for me to be an armor suit… but I don't feel any different." There was a silent moment before he continued. "Having no memories… It's like being devoid of life."

Winry moved forward to sit beside him. She extended her hand to Alphonse's face and delicately touched his cheek. "You once told me, before you regained your body, that that whole 'equivalent exchange' thing you guys always talked about…was a mere pretense made to motivate people to live a life dedicated to alchemy. You said… it was a deception; something we should get past, and realize that life," she smiled, "is merely life. There is little equality, and little fairness. _You _told me all this, Al…"

"But I probably also --"

"Besides…" Her hand dropped to the floor. "You _do_ have memories -- or else you wouldn't know what Equivalent Exchange _was_… And even if you don't, we'll just start from here. Think of this moment as…memory number one." She took a moment to wipe the tears dripping off his now slightly bearded chin. "I have to tell you, though, I'm sort of… _glad_ to see you cry, Al. You -- and Ed too -- you never used to be able to express your emotions like that, so…I always had to do the crying _for_ you." A soft chuckle escaped her lips. "You two were actually a lot more similar than we knew… Even without the proper memories," she said, "you probably already know how close the bond between you and Ed was."

At this Alphonse smiled, and the conversation eventually died out and was replaced with silence. Winry soon became aware of how late it was; it seemed that even the previously chirping crickets outside had crashed and begun to slumber. After a few minutes of remaining there, the mechanic arose from the floor, ready to return to her bed -- but was stopped when he grabbed her hand.

"Winry? Was there ever…anything like that between you and me?"

She whipped around to stare at him, expecting him to be joking, hoping his lips were curled into a smirk. Neither was true; Al stared sincerely back up at her, a grave glint in his golden-colored eyes.

"Never."

She quickly averted her gaze, breaking eye contact, before walking at a brisk pace to the door. She swung it open. Without looking back, Winry said quietly, "Actually -- we'll discuss that on memory number two."


End file.
